I had a challenging childhood and remember always feeling scared.
For a long time I have been living in fear. I am not talking about that type of fear that you have of heights or of a creepy crawly spider but a fear that consumed me. When I was 15, a friend and I were held at gunpoint, and I was mugged of my schoolbag and my friend’s cell phone was taken.
In the second year of our relationship, my husband Mark was in hospital six times. Two of which were critical, and that year he also had a minor car accident. Then in 2014, I was in an attempted hijacking involving a shooting. This is when it really fell apart for me. The enemy fooled me so much to the point where everyday I anticipated something bad to happen. I would not drive at night. I would not stay at home on my own. If Mark was going to work late (which happens up to three times a week), I would have to go stay at my parents home in PMB. I would drive from Karkloof to PMB, stay over, and drive back in the morning for work. This effected our lives and our time together and the running of our home. I always felt tired. If Mark had to work late and it wasn’t planned, I would instantly go into panic mode. This put a lot of pressure on Mark and it started effecting both of us negatively.
On the nights I was at home alone while Mark was working, I would panic, cry, and end up feeling completely hopeless. I was also convinced that something bad was going to happen to him. I would phone him up to 5 times a day. I reached a point where I felt so consumed by fear, that our marriage and our home was taking strain. But then I started to pray for peace. Mark and I started praying together and spent time reading the Word too. A few days later, I was sitting in our lounge reading and feeling better when Mark got into an accident and the fear came rushing back in.
Somehow God lead us to Oasis, and the very first sermon we attended was about fear. Mark and I cried so much that Sunday. We could feel God’s presence. Everything Matt said felt as if it was just for me. I received Word and prayer about being envisioned as a Warrior Princess, and I got baptised three weeks later. At my Baptism, I declared that I no longer want to live in fear.
At the ladies conference in September, I received Word again about being a Warrior and to just rest and let God fight for me. I had never felt God’s presence the way I did there. That weekend we sang a song about no longer being a slave to fear and I felt as if God came and took every bit of fear that I have ever had, and He stripped it away. I don’t know if I even have the right words to explain the way God has changed my life, but He has removed years of fear. He has blessed my life, my marriage, and my relationship with Him. I feel restored. I am not the same person, and the peace and the joy that I feel is awesome! He is awesome! I have received Him into my heart. I still have room to grow, but thanks to Him, I am not where I used to be. I have Hope for a better future! #SoGrateful